Idril

節錄

And it seemed a long time in the semi final like it’d turn out to be something for us. We were just half an inch from the goal: penalties. I was sure that we’d win it. And then Grosso’s goal in the 119th minute.
　　
　　Suddenly you’re out.
　　
　　You’re suddenly completely empty, there’s absolutely nothing anymore. It was as if I was in another world. We couldn’t prepare for this, for getting kicked out, there was just no time anymore. That was the most cruel thing. Crash. Boom. End. Out.

　I don’t know what I thought, what I felt. It’s as if you’re paralyzed. You ask yourself: why? Why us? Why this way? Why do we get punished like this? That’s what you ask yourself, again and again: why? The chance was so huge. It won’t come back like that too soon. Maybe it won’t come for some of us ever again.
　　
　　You then walk the lap of honour like in a trance. You don’t see and hear much. Only afterwards, when I watched it again on TV, I noticed that ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ was playing. In truth you feel very alone.
　　
　　In the locker room there was only dejectedness. Only mourning. Some players cried, my tears were running, too. Some tried to console the guys next to them. I just wanted to be alone with myself. That the federal chancellor Angela Merkel appeared I didn’t really notice. I was with the physios, in the next room. After some minutes ‘Dieser Weg’ by Xavier Naidoo could be heard, the song that we always listened to before the matches. Maybe it was half an hour. I don’t know. If you didn’t have to be at the hotel at some time, you could have sat there for two, three hours. You just sit there, lacking all strength, there’s just emptiness. Late in the night we returned to Berlin to the Schlosshotel. I sat outside with Novotny, Kahn, Frings and some other players until the sky brightened. We drank some beers, you can’t eat and you can’t sleep, either.